DARE STORIES
DARE participants and volunteers share tales of their encounters, of overcoming fears, and of holding miscreants accountable for their misdeeds.
Be inspired by their stories of resilience and stand up for yourself and other women, in the face of harassment.
Courage to Call Out Harassment
A 22-year-old girl studying in the Paramedical College at Gadag, Karnataka, narrated her experience of being inappropriately touched by a passing man at the local fair in her town. Taking the matter into her own hands, she approached the local police station to file a complaint. Sadly, the police officials she met on that day turned out to be uninterested in her complaint, and also proved to be just as lecherous as the man she was there to report.
Disheartened that her woes were not being taken seriously, she left the police station, feeling helpless. She ended up attending a DARE workshop organised in her college where she shared her experience with us. She raised a pertinent question on how she was supposed to feel safe even if the very people meant to protect us, behaved inappropriately?
The job of our DARE trainers is to help girls gain confidence to feel safe without relying on anyone else. Which is exactly what was communicated to her and her peers. DARE teaches one to defend themselves in critical situations by relying on the right techniques and inner strength. To supplement these endeavors to protect oneself, we also brought her attention to the availability of women helpline numbers or to talk to someone close who can help her fight such injustices, like her parents.
Aware of her rights and the different paths available to her, she confidently decided that she wouldn't give up if faced with such situations again, and to also help other girls in the face of harassment.
Putting an Eve-teaser in his Place
Prior to attending Afiya's school in Banjara Hills, Hyderabad, for a DARE workshop, the young girl from 8th Grade was being eve-teased on a daily basis by a boy on her way to, and while returning from school. Fed up of his advances and harassment, she informed her teachers about the situation.
Afiya's teachers observed the situation and approached the boy to warn him against his behaviour. When the DARE master trainers arrived for a workshop shortly after, we were apprised on the situation and were requested to help the young girls gain confidence. The workshop was well received by both teachers and students, with the girls learning to become more assertive and self-assured to take on any of their harassers.
Workshops that Bring Change
In Arambol, South Goa, a young girl from the 5th Grade had to spend her time after school, while waiting for her father to pick her up, in confusion and fear. The reason? Unsavoury advances from the janitor, who took advantage of the fact that she was alone and unprotected. The molestation persisted for over 15 days, with the girl unsure of what was happening, but fully aware that it was making her incredibly uncomfortable.
With no one aware of the situation, there came a day when DARE was conducting a workshop in the little girl’s school that set the ball rolling. She burst into tears when the session on Good Touch/Bad Touch was being conducted, leading the Master Trainer to talk to her and find out the root cause of her trauma. We advised her to open up to her Principal and we provided the assistance and much needed courage she needed.
No time was lost as the Principal and faculty jumped into action, with the janitor being reprimanded immediately. He was also dismissed from his job as it was felt he was a danger to the other students in school.
Defense Comes Before Offense
In all our workshops, over time, we have noticed a severe lack of awareness and knowledge on defense techniques that involve escape tactics and hurting the aggressors strategically, in order to make escaping easier. Making things more difficult, is the state of panic such scenarios elicit, that even knowing karate and other forms of martial arts turns out to not be of much help.
This is why our workshops are designed in such a way, that we focus on building the girl’s self-confidence and will power, over anything else. Knowing that they are prepared for any given scenario, automatically gives a girl the impetus to think clearly and plan her escape, saving herself from the worst of scenarios.
Till date, all the workshops we conducted, have garnered positive feedback and responses from faculty and students, alike. The schools and colleges we have visited also call us back for further workshops and new batches, helping us reach and instill self confidence in thousands of girls!
A Strong Support Base Matters
It is found that in most cases, the abuser is someone close to the victim or the victim’s family. The proximity the abuser has to the victim coupled with the trust they have garnered from the victim and those close to them, helps them operate freely.
One such case is that of a young girl from Goa, studying in the 9th Grade, who was molested by her uncle for over 5 months, while her parents were away during the day for work. Fearing embarrassment for her family, she didn’t inform them, nor did she feel comfortable telling her friends or teachers.
At the DARE workshop held in her school, the Master Trainer covered topics including Eve-teasing, molestation, good touch/bad touch and rape. At the end of the workshop, the girl herself approached the trainer and shared her troubles. The emotional interaction helped her gain the courage to inform the Principal, who in turn reached out to her parents. Upon hearing the news, her anguished parents immediately turned on their protective modes, warning the perpetrator to stay away from their daughter and family. They took several measures to ensure the future safety of their daughter, who is now happily continuing her education in a healthy and safe environment.